#horse

Jimmy held on to the reins for dear life, and thought that a horse was about the most slippery creature to sit on that he had ever met. He slithered first one way and then another, and at last he slid off altogether and landed with a bump on the ground. Sticky Stanley and Lotta held on to one another and laughed till the tears ran down their faces. They thought it was the funniest sight in the world to see poor Jimmy slipping about on the solemn, cantering horse. ↗

— Enid Blyton

#horseback-riding #horses #humourous #laughing #reins

A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle. ↗

— Ian Fleming

#dangerous #ends #horse #middle #uncomfortable

The North African mule talks always of his mother's brother, the horse, but never of his father, the donkey, in favor of others supposedly more reputable. ↗

— Clifford Geertz

#always #brother #donkey #father #favor

Horses are of a breed unique to Fantasyland. They are capable of galloping full-tilt all day without a rest. Sometimes they do not require food or water. They never cast shoes, go lame or put their hooves down holes, except when the Management deems it necessary, as when the forces of the Dark Lord are only half an hour behind. They never otherwise stumble. Nor do they ever make life difficult for Tourists by biting or kicking their riders or one another. They never resist being mounted or blow out so that their girths slip, or do any of the other things that make horses so chancy in this world. For instance, they never shy and seldom whinny or demand sugar at inopportune moments. But for some reason you cannot hold a conversation while riding them. If you want to say anything to another Tourist (or vice versa), both of you will have to rein to a stop and stand staring out over a valley while you talk. Apart from this inexplicable quirk, horses can be used just like bicycles, and usually are. Much research into how these exemplary animals come to exist has resulted in the following: no mare ever comes into season on the Tour and no stallion ever shows an interest in a mare; and few horses are described as geldings. It therefore seems probable that they breed by pollination. This theory seems to account for everything, since it is clear that the creatures do behave more like vegetables than mammals. Nomads appears to have a monopoly on horse-breeding. They alone possess the secret of how to pollinate them. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#horses #humor #food

I was at the pinnacle of my career one day and the next day I was put out to pasture. I felt like a race horse with a broken leg. ↗

— Jack Klugman

#career #day #felt #horse #i

You've got to stop whipping a dead horse sometime. ↗

— Jim Knight

#dead horse #got #horse #sometime #stop

Get off your horse and drink your milk. ↗

— John Wayne

#get #horse #milk #off #your

Race horses are like golfers, you're never sure how they're going to come out of the stalls. It's just - hopefully the horses come out of the race all right, just fit and ready to go again in the near future, but 3rd was good. It's paid for its hay. ↗

— Lee Westwood

#come #fit #future #go #going

I ride horseback - arthritic knees permitting - or listen to opera. Sometimes I cook. I used to do needlework, but it's hard on my hands now, so I only do it occasionally, but I like it. And, of course, I read. ↗

— Chelsea Quinn Yarbro

#course #hands #hard #horseback #i

On horseback you feel as if you're moving in time to classical music; a camel seems to progress to the beat of a drum played by a drunk. ↗

— Walter Moers

#funny #horses #funny