#hr

So there’s this guy named Murphy and he has this law. I hate him. ↗

— Christy Trujillo

#humor #true-north #humor

I just peed in the sink. Why? Because there was already somebody in the bathtub.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bathtub #humor #pee #sink #humor

He sees me when I'm lying. He hears me when I flirt. ↗

— Candace Jane Kringle

#humor #teen-romance #humor

Atlas smirked. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#paraphrased #unintentional-humor #humor

He kills her in her own humor. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#shakespeare #taming-of-the-shrew #humor

PS: I also note that you included the Stalker's Anthem, "Every Breath You Take." I do enjoy your sense of humor, but does Dr. Flynn know? ↗

— E.L. James

#christian-grey #humor

Gallows humor is part of having a doctor in the house. Deal with it. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #lover-enshrined #medicine #humor

The Fundamentalist Christians have told me that I am a slave of Satan and should have my demons expelled with an exorcism. The Fundamentalist Materialists inform me that I am a liar, charlatan, fraud and scoundrel. Aside from this minor difference, the letters are astoundingly similar. Both groups share the same crusading zeal and the same lack of humor, charity and common human decency. These intolerable cults have served to confirm me in my agnosticism by presenting further evidence to support my contention that when dogma enters the brain, all intellectual activity ceases. ↗

— Robert Anton Wilson

#christianity #humor #humor

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit ↗

— Kin Hubbard

#circus #humor #humor

Without the door let sorrow lie, And if for cold it hap to die, We'll bury 't in a Christmas pie, And evermore be merry. ↗

— George Wither

#humor #merriment #wassail #humor