#hum

Still, waking up this early was just wrong. “Why can’t people be reasonable and only die after eleven A.M.?” I whined. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death

The butcher died, and he requested to be cremated. But I don’t want to burn him, because I like my meat medium rare.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cannibalism #cook #cooking #cremated #death

The most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archaeologists. ↗

— Yahtzee Croshaw

#black-humor #comedy #death #death

Die, die we all pass away, But don't wear a frown coz it's really okay, And you might try to hide, And you might try to pray, But we all end up remains of the day. ↗

— Danny Elfman - The Corpse Bride

#humor #life #pray #death

It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humon #simon #vampires #death

Camels can go many weeks without drinking anything at all. The notion that they cache water in their humps is pure myth—their humps are made of fat, and water is stored in their body tissues. While other mammals draw water from bloodstreams when faced with dehydration, leading to death by volume shock, camels tap the water in their tissues, keeping their blood volume stable. Though this reduces the camel’s bulk, they can lose up to a third of their body weight with no ill effects, which they can replace astonishingly quickly, as they are able to drink up to forty gallons in a single watering.” (pp.69-70) ↗

— Michael Benanav

#bloodstream #body-tissues #body-weight #camels #death

Look, I know this is the last thing you want to talk about, but I wanted to ask you . . . .” He trailed off, looking strangely uneasy. “Ask me . . . ?” Ask me to dinner? Ask me out for drinks? Ask me if I wanted to see what he looked like under that uniform? Yow, where’d that last one come from? ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death

Where is an intimate friend who’ll hear the secret from me straight out– of what human beings have been from the moment they began? They are born of toil and molded from the clay of sorrow. They wander the world for a time, then set off. ↗

— Omar Khayyám

#death #humans #life #sorrow #death

I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#death

Okay." Nate took a deep breath. "Now that we're all caught up on the new no-no's of the house, what do you say we find a tarp and some duct tape and MacGyver ourselves a new window in the living room? Just, you know, to keep out the wind ... and the leaves ... and any sharp-toothed woodland creatures prone to attacking people in their sleep." Tristan raised a brow. "What?" Nate shrugged. "Death by dragon? Awesome. Death by rabid forest squirrel? Not cool, man. Not cool." "You're immortal, Nate," Gabriel said. "So? That doesn't mean I want rabies." Nate shook his head. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have medieval aliens to defeat. ↗

— Chelsea Fine

#death