#hum

When someone says so-and-so’s opinionated, what’s that mean? Aren’t we all opinionated? Show me one person with no opinions, and I’ll show you a bowl of Jell-O—or a politician, whichever one’s dumber.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #politicians #politics #random

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today! 
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— Jarod Kintz

#convert #drink #frozen #funny #humor

My shadow falling over a spot of land always increases its real estate value. Buy it now, because at high noon, all value will vanish.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #noon #random #random-thought

I was once attacked by a Federal park. But due to governmental inefficiencies, I had to report it to highway patrol.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #government #humor #inefficient #food

Never start a fight with your hands in your pockets. Unless you’re instigating with an armless man.
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— Jarod Kintz

#fight #funny #humor #instigate #food

Holy effing moly. ↗

— Ellen Hopkins

#humor

You bite the hand that feeds, Speedy said. Humans don't like that. They view it as a sign of ingratitude. I never asked anyone to feed me. That doesn't seem to matter to them. ↗

— Patrick Jennings

#ethics #food #humans #pets #food

I think this goat must have been fed on old boots,' Stubble complained as he chewed the last scraps of flesh from the bones littering his stew. ↗

— Carl Sargent

#fantasy #food #humour #stubble #zagor

The aristocrats had to force them to do their jobs. After all, human beings are not badgers. We aren't molded to stoop. ↗

— Andrew Rimas Evan D.G. Fraser

#humans #labor #food

Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who eats crazy people? ↗

— Mari Donne

#food