#hum

I make love like I sell sausages to strange women. One at a time, and always covered with a condom (to keep the flies away). 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Experts in ancient Greek culture say that people back then didn't see their thoughts as belonging to them. When they had a thought, it occurred to them as a god or goddess giving them an order. Apollo was telling them to be brave. Athena was telling them to be in love. Now people hear a commercial for sour cream potato chips and rush out to buy. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#consumerism #love

I tell you, little man, life's fall guys, beaten, fleeced to the bone, sweated from time immemorial, I warn you, that when the princes of this world start loving you, it means they're going to grind you up into battle sausage... ↗

— Louis-Ferdinand Céline

#love

I love shark week, all kids swim for free ↗

— Josh Stern

#humor #kids #shark-week #swim #love

Klaus: Oh, come on. Take a chance, Caroline. Talk to me. Come on, get to know me. I dare you. Caroline: Fine. So, what do you wanna talk about? Klaus: I wanna talk about you. (Caroline scoffs) Your hopes, your dreams. Everything you want in life. Caroline: (laughs) Just to be clear, I'm too smart to be seduced by you. Klaus: Well, that's why I like you! ↗

— Caroline Dries

#humor #love #sweet #dreams

You always need right moves, wheather it's life or romance.. ↗

— BHARAT SHARMA

#inspirational #life #love #romance #inspirational

There were too many idiot men in the world, to her way of thinking. And most of them ended up bumping up against stubborn women. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#love #women-and-men #love

Denis could think of no logical reason why he should not attempt to mate with Beth Cooper. There were no laws explicitly against it. They were of the same species, and had complementary sex organs, most likely, based on extensive mental modeling Denis had done. ↗

— Larry Doyle

#love #love

God probably thinks it’s worth giving a sense of humor only to those of us who have to laugh at all the rubbish bits that are wrong with us. ↗

— Allison Pearson

#love

Lastly, say to me, if you can, with feelings as tender as mine for you: my dear Beelzebub, I adore you... ↗

— Jacques Cazotte

#love