#hum

I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails. ↗

— Andrew Lawrence

#humor

Wir sind alle ein bisschen gestorben in diesem Krieg, glaube ich. Wie meine Mutter immer gesagt hat. Krieg tötet alle, auch die, die ihn überleben. ↗

— Hallgrímur Helgason

#humor #iceland #humor

—Para que lo sepas, Lenny, esta no es una cita —Trish dice. —Entonces, ¿qué es? —Soy yo sintiendo lástima por ti, porque eres un perdedor. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor

With practice I will eventually realize my goal; in the meantime, come to Paris and you will find me, headphones plugged tight in my external audio meatus, walking the quays and whispering, 'Has anything else been inserted into your anus? Has anything else been inserted into your anus? ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway. ↗

— Solange nicole

#humor #life-lessons #philosophy #solange #funny

But it is cute. It's such a boy thing to do. Drop dead. Aw, you say the most romantic things. ↗

— Eliezer Yudkowsky

#fantasy #humor #humor

What's your favorite movie?...that should be our question. When we don't know what to say. Movies are a safe topic. What's wrong with the standard 'how's it going?' because all you get is 'Okay' or 'Fine', and then what? You're back where you started. It's a useless question. Like anyone is going to tell you how it's really going. ↗

— Lisa Schroeder

#humor

I remembered that Beethoven's symphonies had sometimes been given names... they should have call [the Fifth] the Vampire, because it simply refused to lie down and die. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#humor #humour #music #symphonies #humor

I don't need an invitation to step over your threshold. -Cristophe ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#humor #lili-st-crow #strange-angels #humor

The Theist tells us that the truth is god exists, the Atheist tells us that the truth is there is no god, while the truth tells us we don't know. ↗

— Kodai Okuda

#knowledge #philosophy #religion #science #wisdom