#hum

I'm not that bad,” he said. “I'm rich, popular. I have a sense of humor. I'm good looking, and not to mention I have a really big— ↗

— J.M. Darhower

#humor #love #personality #friendship

Sometimes I sit for hours just thinking, wondering what the man upstairs is trying to tell me. Yesterday I reached the conclusion that he was saying, “Get me a slinky. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#god #humor #man-upstairs #slinky #funny

A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they're the ones who helped you put them there." And sometimes, if you're really lucky, they help you dig them back up. ↗

— Jenny Lawson

#humor #friendship

Some guys step on a rake in the dark, and get mad and go punch somebody. Others step on a rake in the dark and fall down laughing at themselves. I know which kind of guy I'd rather be. So do my friends. ↗

— Spider Robinson

#comedy #friendship #humour #sf #friendship

You can spend your life judging people or, you can spend it making friends. Take your pick. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#human-behavior #human-nature #humanism #humankind #love

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately. ↗

— Mark Twain

#friendship #humor #friendship

Perhaps I won't marry then. Instead, you and I shall live as spinsters in a cottage by the sea. We'll burn our corsets, eat chocolate morning, noon and night and grow fat as hedgehogs. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#humor #marriage #friendship

Not my finest hour," he says, shaking his head. "You realize you did it for no reason," I say. I tell him about talking to my dad and explain that I was crying because of that. "That information would have been useful BEFORE I shoved him in the pool. ↗

— Heather Hepler

#friendship #humor #love #friendship

One only understands the things that one tames,” said the fox. “Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me. . . ↗

— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

#humanity #the-little-prince #friendship

I'd rather be single, happy, and lonely sometimes than married, lonely, and happy sometimes. ↗

— Mark Fiore

#friendship #humor #life-purpose #love #marriage