#hum

Sadly, however, the sight of her generous D cups no longer sparked an ounce of interest from Little Sam, the man in charge of social activities. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#humour #romance #funny

101 Reason why its its great to be a woman : Since the advent of feminism, we can publicly ogle male bodies and not be called sexist. If a man indulges in this behavior over a picture of naked woman, he is a sexist pig, and recompense must be demanded for this slight on womankind. ↗

— Summersdale Publishers

#funny #humour #woman #womanhood #funny

I was kind of excited to go to jail for the first time and I learnt some great dialogue. ↗

— Quentin Tarantino

#inspiration #jail #prison #humor

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#humor #humor

Hippo in a skirt: this was a comic reference to one of Solomon's principal wives, the one from Moab. Childish? Yes. But in the days before printing we had limited opportunities for satire. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#humor #humor

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large ego must be in want of a woman to cut him down to size ↗

— Melissa Nathan

#melissa-nathan #paraphrased #pride-and-prejudice #humor

Everyone has crap in their background, everyone has things they wish they could undo. But most people don't go around doing their best to screw up their present lives because of it. ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#inspirational #humor

My little girls can break my heart. They can make me cry just looking at them eating their string beans. ↗

— Barack Obama

#humor

My name is Nicomo Cosca, famed solider of fortune, and I am here for dinner. ↗

— Joe Abercrombie

#humor #humor

Accept that some days you’re the bug, and some days you’re going to be the windshield. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor