#hum

A brick could be used as a dream stimulator. Just tap it gently against your forehead. And if the mechanism gets stuck, just slam it down on your skull to jar everything loose.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in your hands and say, This is not a dream.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Need to get to Ruislip by sparrow-fart though', said the squadron leader. 'Think you can do that? Can I come along for the ride? ↗

— Robert Rankin

#ridiculous #science-fiction #science

Secular humanists suspect there is something more gloriously human about resisting the religious impulse; about accepting the cold truth, even if that truth is only that the universe is as indifferent to us as we are to it. ↗

— Tom Flynn

#accepting #cold #even #gloriously #human

Skull merchandise never depricates. Flamming skulls appricate faster. ↗

— Mayhem Saying

#humor

When I'm sitting in the church alone, I can hear singing of the old people. I can hear their singing and I can hear their praying, and sometimes I hum one of their songs. ↗

— Ernest Gaines

#church #hear #hum #i #i can

The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society - more briefly, to find your real job, and do it. ↗

— Charlotte Perkins Gilman

#being #briefly #duty #find #first

Gemma talking to Charley... "Got it. Have you seen my pants?" "Speaking of which, how did you get home without them?" "I borrowed a pair of you sweats. I ran into a convenience store with them on. I talked to neighbors out in their yard when I pulled up. And only after I got inside did I realize the had 'Exit Only' written across the back." "You stole my favorite sweats?" "I wanted to die." "It's weird that sweats would make you suicidal. I'd analyze the crap out of that if I were you." "Do you actually wear those in public?" "Only when I go out in them ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

Madam Dorothea shot him a dark look. "If you were half as funny as you thought you were, my boy, you'd be twice as funny as you are. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#insults #philosophical #funny

Divine Nature gave the fields, human art built the cities. ↗

— Marcus Terentius Varro

#built #cities #divine #divine nature #fields