#hum

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing. ↗

— Emo Philips

#beat #checkers #computer #i #kickboxing

I like using scented markers. Especially when I’m trying to color the inside of my nostrils. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #funny

You could ask me to teach you.” “Huh?” This night is getting weird in a hurry. “Teach me like you’re teaching a class or something? What are you going to call it: ‘You Too Can Be a Sociopath 101’?” “It would be more like a graduate-level class.” I start to snicker. His sense of humour sneaks up on you. Then I remember who’s talking and bite it off. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#funny #humor #iced #mega #ryodan

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

I enjoy humour more than anything, I don't really sit around banging my head and crying all the time. ↗

— Joaquin Phoenix

#around #banging #crying #enjoy #head

I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release. ↗

— Joaquin Phoenix

#discomfort #experience #funny #getting #horrible

Will you quit shouting and let me bleed in peace! ↗

— Ransom Riggs

#humor #funny

This means that no single logic is strong enough to support the total construction of human knowledge. ↗

— Jean Piaget

#enough #human #human knowledge #knowledge #logic

To express the same idea in still another way, I think that human knowledge is essentially active. ↗

— Jean Piaget

#another #another way #essentially #express #human

You know who DOES have a funny bone in her body? Your Mom every night for a dollar! ↗

— Tina Fey

#funny