#hum

I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#humor #manners #philip-marlowe #put-downs #raymond-chandler

Geniuses that point the way exist in abundance, but mediocrity's true prophet has yet to emerge. We may not be able to choose a direction to go, but at least we’re still walking around. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#genius #humor #idiots #funny

Form a sacred bond. That way if your government one doesn't get repaid, you'll have something to pawn. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #lover #funny

There are too many books, so I’m writing one that’s flame resistant. I’m putting it on the shelf of my next job. My current job is as a librarian, which is the perfect position for an arsonist. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

Hm-m," he said. "Lookie, Ma. I been all day an' all night hidin' alone. Guess who I been thinkin' about? Casy! He talked a lot. Used ta bother me. But now I been thinkin' what he said, an' I can remember- all of it. Says one time he went out in the wilderness to find his own soul, an' he foun' he didn' have no soul that was his'n. Says he foun' he jus' got a little piece of a great big soul. Says a wilderness ain't no good, 'cause his little piece of a soul wasn't no good 'less it was with the rest, an' was whole. Funny how I remember. Didn't even think I was listenin'. But I know now a fella ain't no good alone. ↗

— John Steinbeck

#humanity #funny

Getting into a fight with a popular senior. Pissing off a school teacher and the local chief of police. Hanging with two major-league losers." She slapped my back. "Welcome to high school. ↗

— Harlan Coben

#high-school #humor #mickey #shelter #funny

I never forget things. I just don't observe them in the first place. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #observation #funny

There’s a name for devout people who worship reverence. Heretics. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #heretics #humor #funny

Just leave me alone, I want to be alone,” she said when Jack tried to open the car door. She hit the lock, and wound the window up. Since the roof was down, it was a fairly pointless exercise. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#humour #romance #romantic-comedy #funny

Tag opened the door to his knock, and with a look of disappointment, peered behind Wade. "You got someone better coming over?" Wade asked him. "Pizza," Tag said. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humour #funny