#hum

The integrity of my sleep has been forever compromised, sir. ↗

— David Foster Wallace

#humor

All I really wanted to do was cuddle back under the blankets, maybe with a certain stuffed toy penguin I knew. Yeah, hiding sounded good. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor #humor

Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#shane #humor

A horse must be a bit mad to be a good cavalry mount, and its rider must be completely so. ↗

— Steven Pressfield

#humor #humor

Women are constantly trying to commit suicide for love, but generally they take care not to succeed. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#love #suicide #women #humor

I was trying to decide if you still had free will as a wolf. If I was a terrible person for planning to drug my girlfriend and drag her back to my house to keep in the basement. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#relationships #sam-roth #humor

Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental. ↗

— Ogden Nash

#humor #pain #humor

It’s like this…a starving man would gladly eat a radish, right? In fact, a radish would be a feast if that’s all he had. But if he had a buffet in front of him, the radish would never be chosen. ↗

— Colleen Houck

#love #romance #humor

It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind. -Algernon ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#procrastination #humor

Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#love #humor