#hum

If you could see Julie stuffing pepper and lard up the asshole of a dead pigeon,' he wrote, 'you'd realize how profoundly affected she's been already. ↗

— Paul Child book: Julie and Julia by Julie Powell

#humor

Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you. ↗

— Mardy Grothe

#humor

This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink... mug of water. ↗

— Russell Brand

#funny #humor #interview #thoughts #funny

No one could honestly say that a musical makes sense. ↗

— Siegfried Kracauer

#humorous #humor

I've fallen in love with baseball. ↗

— Nick Jonas

#humor #sports #humor

Here was a flower (the daisy reflected) strangely like itself and yet utterly unlike itself too. Such a paradox has often been the basis for the most impassioned love. ↗

— Thomas M. Disch

#flowers #humor #love #humor

I didn’t ask for your help,” I muttered, too exhausted to properly argue. “So fuck you.” An alarm bell went off in my head and I bit back a sigh. I swore I sensed the mischievous grin that inevitably crossed his lips. “I already did you.” It was going to be a long drive. ↗

— Natasha McNeely

#humor #succubus #humor

Yelling a battle cry—more to motivate himself than frighten his foes—Lukel grabbed the table leg and swung it at a soldier. The wood bounced off the man's helmet, but the blow was powerful enough to daze him, so Lukel followed it with a solid blow to the face. The soldier dropped and Lukel grabbed his weapon. Now he had a sword. He only wished he knew how to use it. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

How did you . . . pass the time?’ Sunday asked. ‘You couldn’t just ching out of it, could you?’ ‘We had a different form of chinging,’ Eunice said. ‘An earlier type of virtual-reality technology, much more robust and completely unaffected by time lag. You may have heard of it. We called it “reading”. ↗

— Alastair Reynolds

#humour #reading #humor

How . . . how are you doing, Jace?” Dr. Pete manages. “Holding on. Just barely. Charlie?” Charlie’s tone is almost conversational. “Kind of getting the urge to kill both of you.Think I’m gonna head back.” “Sure, okay, no problem.” “Yeah, yeah, good idea. You do that.” Charlie turns and trudges away. It’s just Dr. Pete and me now. ↗

— D.D. Barant

#humor