#hum

The latter. She had a good run," Sook said, doing a little shrug. It was his usual response to death at Mapleshade, and it was a safe bet that he felt that way about himself. Like most twice-widowed, Korea-vet, nature-loving, gun-enthusiast, bilingual, weed-connoisseur great grandfathers of five, he'd lived a full life. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#humor #way-with-words #death

Gingerly, Daniel reached toward the infant. "What if she doesn't like me?" "She'll spit acid in your eye and you'll die a horrible death," Kara joked. ↗

— Jacqueline Diamond

#death

Tall, dark, and gruesome." -Tori ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor

I may be a burglar...but I'm an honest one, I hope, more or less. ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#humor

The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it. ↗

— Scott Adams

#humor #food

Her hands cupped his face, thumbs caressing his cheekbones. "I love you, Mr. Bennett." "Good thing. Hate to be the only one afflicted. ↗

— Ellen O'Connell

#love #love

Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#language #dreams

We offered her flowers and signalled to her with our penises, but she did not respond with joy.' 'The men with the extra skins didn't look happy. They looked angry.' 'We went towards them to greet them, but they ran away.' Snowman can imagine. The sight of these preternaturally calm, well-muscled men advancing en masse, singing their unusual music, green eyes glowing, blue penises waving in unison, both hands outstretched like extras in a zombie film, would have to have been alarming. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humour #mating #imagination

It is hard for one who has not had a similar experience to imagine the terror that still gripped Taeko and Mrs. Tamaki and Hiroshi, so intense a terror that afterwards it seemed almost funny. ↗

— Junichiro Tanizaki

#life #pain #terror #imagination

Evolutionarily speaking, there is seldom any mystery in why we seek the goals we seek — why, for example, people would rather make love with an attractive partner than get a slap on the belly with a wet fish. ↗

— Steven Pinker

#evolutionary-psychology #humor #humor