#hum

For a girl with such a fat ass, I felt pretty invisible. ↗

— Kody Keplinger

#design

You go in, I go in." "Listen---" He took her face in his hands. "You go, I go. That's non-negotiable. If we're to get blasted to hell or poisoned into lunatics, we do it together." "Crap, Crap. You have to look less rich and gorgeous." God help him, she made him grin. "I'll do what I can. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#death

Death is too inevitable not to defy, life too fearful and uncertain to embrace. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #life #death

I don't use airplane bathrooms. As a rule. And I really don't like breaking rules. (It's kind of one of my rules.) I mean, if I'm going to plummet to my death, it's not going to be with my pants around my ankles. ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#humor #death

When old friends get together, everything else fades to insignificance."- War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#death

The brain can be a dangerous thing. Even more so if you haven't got one. ↗

— Dave Courtney

#humour #smiling #death

Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#death-and-dying #humor #humorous #humorous-quotations #internet

Afterwards, when it's all over, you meet God. What do you say to God? ↗

— Yann Martel

#god #human-suffering #death

My new 9mm didn’t fit my hand as well as my old one, but it was rapidly becoming a familiar weight. At first I’d decided it was okay to wear as long as I shot only at supernatural bad guys who were already shooting at me. Lately, I’d had to broaden that definition to anytime my life was in danger. I was currently leaning toward a slightly more comprehensive rule somewhere between proactive self-defense and the-bastards-had-it-coming, which, if I survived long enough, I intended to blame on my deranged partner rubbing off on me. ↗

— Karen Chance

#humor #karen-chance-sarcasm #humor

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life. ↗

— Bauvard

#execution #funny #humor #death