#hum

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #motherhood #parenthood #parenting #humor

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor

I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years. ↗

— Tina Fey

#grammar-humor #humor #stress #humor

Adventures are never fun while you're having them. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#humor

To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time. ↗

— Leonard Bernstein

#stress #humor

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorous #solemnity #humor

Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful. But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical. ↗

— Rachel Hill

#boys #chocolate #girls #humor #manga

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#humor #live-in-the-moment #napping #humor

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#drinking #humor #humor

Leo couldn't help smiling. "That could be fun." "Fun" she said unhappily. "Blue elephants." "Blue elephants." "Kiss me you fool." "You fool. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #leo-valdez #humor