#hum

I looked at the stained-glass image of the lamb in the window above me, but that only reminded me that lambs are famous for being led to slaughter, or sometimes hanging out with lions in ill-advised relationships. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#funny #humor #humour #lambs #slaughter

Oh God, Oh God we’re all gonna die doesn’t really fit the definition of banter, now does it? ↗

— Lilith Saintcrow

#death #funny #humor #life #death

I'm going to wake Peeta," I say. "No, wait," says Finnick. "Let's do it together. Put our faces right in front of his." Well, there's so little opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We position ourselves on either side of Peeta, lean over until our faces are inches frim his nose, and give him a shake. "Peeta. Peeta, wake up," I say in a soft, singsong voice. His eyelids flutter open and then he jumps like we've stabbed him. "Aa!" Finnick and I fall back in the sand, laughing our heads off. Every time we try to stop, we look at Peeta's attempt to maintain a disdainful expression and it sets us off again. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#humor #prank #funny

She led him past the engine room, which looked like a very dangerous, mechanized jungle gym, with pipes and pistons and tubes jutting from a central bronze sphere. Cables resembling giant metal noodles snaked across the floor and ran up the walls. “How does that thing even work?” Percy asked. “No idea,” Annabeth said. “And I’m the only one besides Leo who can operate it.” “That’s reassuring.” “It should be fine. It’s only threatened to blow up once.” “You’re kidding, I hope.” She smiled. “Come on. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#explosions #heroes-of-olympus #humor #leo-valdez #mechanics

Simon turned to Jordan, who was lying down across the futon, his head propped against one of the woven throw pillows. "How much of that did you hear?" "Enough to gather that we're going to a party tonight," said Jordan. "I heard about the Ironworks event. I'm not in the Garroway pack, so I wasn't invited." "I guess you're coming as my date now." Simon shoved the phone back into his pocket. "I'm secure enough in my masculinity to accept that," said Jordan. "We'd better get you something nice to wear, though," he called as Simon headed back into his room. "I want you to look pretty. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-fallen-angels #date #funny #humor #ironworks

Those who rise first are morally superior. It's a universal law. ↗

— O.R. Melling

#wake #dreams

Conceited little mega-puppy. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#science-fiction #humor

The human mind isn't a terribly logical or consistent place. Most people, given the choice to face a hideous or terrifying truth or to conveniently avoid it, choose the convenience and peace of normality. That doesn't make them strong or weak people, or good or bad people. It just makes them people. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humanity #people #logic

The human mind is not a terribly logical or consistent place. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#people #psychology #sanity #logic

People often say that humans have always eaten animals, as if this is a justification for continuing the practice. According to this logic, we should not try to prevent people from murdering other people, since this has also been done since the earliest of times. ↗

— Isaac Bashevis Singer

#also #always #been #continuing #done