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#hum

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #hum




Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were some high and low points, I could never remember the sermons word for word, but here's the gist of almost every sermon I ever heard Joshua give. You should be nice to people, even creeps. And if you: a) believed that Joshua was the Son of God (and) b) he had come to save you from sin (and) c) acknowledged the Holy Spirit within you (became as a little child, he would say) (and) d) didn't blaspheme the Holy Ghost (see c) then you would: e) live forever f) someplace nice g) probably heavan However, if you: h) sinned (and/or) i) were a hypocrite (and/or) j) valued things over people (and) k) didn't do a, b, c, and d, then you were: l) fucked ↗


— Christopher Moore


#speeches #humor

Now-what’s our game plan?” Coach Hedge belched. He’d already had three espressos and a plate of doughnuts, along with two napkins and another flower from the vase on the table. He would’ve eaten the silverware, except Piper had slapped his hand. “Climb the mountain,” Hedge said. “Kill everything except Piper’s dad. Leave.” “Thank you General Eisenhower,” Jason grumbles. ↗


— Rick Riordan


#humour #jason-grace #grace

As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on thing and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you. ↗


— C.S. Lewis


#humility #pride #christianity

She remembered one of her boyfriends asking, offhandedly, how many books she read in a year. "A few hundred," she said. "How do you have the time?" he asked, gobsmacked. She narrowed her eyes and considered the array of potential answers in front of her. Because I don't spend hours flipping through cable complaining there's nothing on? Because my entire Sunday is not eaten up with pre-game, in-game, and post-game talking heads? Because I do not spend every night drinking overpriced beer and engaging in dick-swinging contests with the other financirati? Because when I am waiting in line, at the gym, on the train, eating lunch, I am not complaining about the wait/staring into space/admiring myself in reflective surfaces? I am reading! "I don't know," she said, shrugging. ↗


— Eleanor Brown


#books #reading #sisters

Mal: Doctor, I'm taking your sister under my protection. If any thing happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears. ↗


— Joss Whedon


#humour #snark #sisters

I walked in without knocking. The screen door banged to a close behind me announcing my presence. I followed my nose to the kitchen and found Kaleb standing by the stove. He stirred something that smelled absolutely delicious a wooden spoon in one hand and a huge chef’s knife in the other. “Are you sober ” I asked from the doorway. He turned and leveled a smile at me that made me a little wobbly. “I am." “Good. Because if not I was going to take the deadly kitchen utensil away from you.” I crossed the room and pulled myself up to sit on the counter beside the stove. A cutting board full of green peppers and two uncut stalks of celery waited for attention from the knife. Melted butter and diced onions bubbled in a sauté pan on the stove. “You cook" Kaleb was so pretty I was jealous. Pretty with ripped muscles and a tattoo of a red dragon covering most of his upper body. “Yes ” he said. “I cook.” “Do you usually wear a wife beater and ” I pushed him back a little by his shoulder “an apron that says ‘Kiss the Cook’ while you’re doing it ” He leaned so close to me my heart skipped a couple of beats. “I’ll wear it all the time if you’ll consider it. ↗


— Myra McEntire


#humor #kaleb-ballard #humor

I know that not all my readers like my digressions, but the research that has been done on Caenorhabditis elegans is such a ringing triumph of science that you aren't going to stop me. ↗


— Richard Dawkins


#science #science

Si los seres humanos no dejan de hacer ejercicio con los labios, su cerebro empieza a funcionar. ↗


— Douglas Adams


#humor #science-fiction #science

~ "Harmony, and not peace, is the key element that can bring all nations of the world together. In science we cannot prove peace, but we can prove what harmony is! ↗


— Joey Lawsin


#peace #unity #science

The Internet is the Petri dish of humanity. We can't control what grows in it, but we don't have to watch either. ↗


— Tiffany Madison


#human-behavior #human-condition #human-race #humanity-and-society #internet






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