#hum

I had this guy’s file pulled this morning, along with the rest of your neighbors. His name is Desperado.” Pause. A few seconds passed. He was waiting for my reaction. “Did you say Desperado?” I couldn’t stop the snort of laughter that bubbled to the surface. “Yeah,” the Director confirmed. “He changed his name when he turned eighteen. It was Melvin.” I was still laughing. “’Cause Desperado is so much better than Melvin. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fantasy #fiction #humor #joseph-carter #keepers

To fly or not to fly, that's the question. ↗

— Dan Brown

#humor

Can I get you anything? A drink? A fresh change of clothes? A membership card to Hypocrites International? ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#humor #change

The Search for Truth is a homeless vagrant who begs for food and gathers enough spare change for malt liquor. ↗

— Bauvard

#homelessness #humor #truth #change

The Howeitat spread out along the cliffs to return the peasants' fire. This manner of going displeased Auda, the old lion, who raged that a mercenary village folk should dare to resist their secular masters, the Abu Tayi. So he jerked his halter, cantered his mare down the path, and rode out plain to view beneath the easternmost houses of the village. There he reined in, and shook a hand at them, booming in his wonderful voice: 'Dogs, do you not know Auda?' When they realized it was that implacable son of war their hearts failed them, and an hour later Sherif Nasir in the town-house was sipping tea with his guest the Turkish Governor, trying to console him for the sudden change of fortune. ↗

— T.E. Lawrence

#humourosly-inspirational #military-leaders #tribal #change

Don't you ever get a tattoo, understand? All is says is that you ain't open to change. ↗

— Nami Mun

#change

I invented a paperweight for tabloids so that the winds of change can’t blow them away. I’m calling it a newsweight. It’s the size of Hollywood. I’m dropping it there with a helicopter tonight. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #change

Classifying depression as an illness serves the psychiatric community and pharmaceutical corporations well; it also soothes the frightened, guilty, indifferent, busy, sadistic, and unschooled. To understand depression as a call for life-changes is not profitable. Stagnation is not a medical term. The 17.5 million Americans diagnosed as suffering a major depression in 1997 were mostly damned. (Psychobiological examinations confuse cause and symptom.) Deficient serotonergic functioning, ventral prefrontal cerebral cortex, dis-inhibition of impulsive-aggressive behavior, blah blah blah: the medical lexicon boils emotion from human being. Go take a drug, the doctor says. Pain is a biochemical phenomenon. Erase all memory. ↗

— Antonella Gambotto-Burke

#biochemical-phenomenon #cause-and-symptom #disinhibition #doctors #drugs

Can omniscient God, who Knows the future, find The Omnipotence to Change His future mind? ↗

— Karen Owens

#humor #omnipotence #omniscience #paradox #religion

People grow, but they don't change. ↗

— Elizabeth Bard

#change