#hum

Poor Christopher-John had fallen into the hands of Miss. Daisy Crocker. I greatly sympathized him, but as in everything else, Christopher John tried to see the bright side in having to face such a shrew every morning. "Maybe she done changed," he said hopefully on the first day of school. However, when classes were over he was noticeably quiet. Well?" I asked him. He shrugged dejectedly and admitted, "She still the same. ↗

— Mildred D. Taylor

#humor #teachers #change

I find that when people laugh it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered. That's my payoff. I'm not interested in other people thinking differently. I don't care. I'm just like yeast - I eat sugar and I shit alcohol. And there's a huge culture that goes with that. Alcohol creates massive shifts in world history, and it changes people's lives. People get pregnant because of alcohol. But the yeast doesn't give a fuck. The yeast isn't going, "I really want to help people loosen up and bring passion into Irish people's lives". ↗

— Louis C.K.

#humour #change

Plus, according to my mother, memories change like people do, especially if there's enough alcohol involved-Aphrodite ↗

— P.C. Cast

#humor #change

Frankly, I wonder who Frank was, and why he has an adverb all to himself. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#humor

Stop changing the subject," Taylor snapped. "And think before you speak." Roo pressed her lips together and then sighed. "How long do you want me to think?" Niall let out a snort of laughter. ↗

— Barbara Elsborg

#change

I had made this mistake once before, on a school trip to the Victoria and Albert Museum, when I followed a sign marked WOMEN, thinking it was an exhibition on the changing roles of women in society, and actually ended up standing in the ladies' toilets. ↗

— David Nicholls

#change

Because some things that seem unimportant now can change the course of human history -- and I am a student of human history. ↗

— Daniel Nayeri

#humanity #change

It’s okay. I’m—” “Fine?” Joseph chimed in. “Obviously not. You need to be checked out by a doctor.” “I am a doctor.” I rolled my eyes at him, but that didn’t deter him from his train of thought. “Not that kind of doctor.” “What is ‘that kind of doctor’ going to say when they see my shimmering pink blood, Joseph?” I changed my voice to mimic one of a concerned doctor. “I’m sorry ma’am, you appear to be suffering from a mild case of Pretty Pretty Princess syndrome. Have you ingested any magical woodland faeries recently? ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#faeries #fantasy #humor #soul-stalker #timeless-series-fiction

You don’t offend me. At least not until I change my name. Once I change it to Asshole, then I might be offended you keep calling me Jarod. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #offend #change

Cassius couldn’t take any more. “Okay, that’s enough. We’re done here.” His heart hammered, his palms were sweating, and his knees felt wobbly. “We’ve changed our minds. Just put it back. ↗

— Gabrielle Evans

#change