#hum

Every gay man should be familiar with Bert and Ernie." "And why is that?" Reece rolled his eyes, smiling. "Everyone knows that they're lovers." Ben stopped what he was doing and looked at the man incredulously. "Okay, Reece, seriously, can you hear yourself?" "They are!" Reece said. "They live together, share a bedroom; I'm telling you the sexual tension is very palpable." Ben raised an eyebrow and said nothing. Reece cleared his throat. "You're going to break up with me now, aren't you? ↗

— L.A. Gilbert

#humor

It is like putting a dehumidifier and a humidifier in the same room and letting them fight it out. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

This scene may disturb you, so you have to pay attention. ↗

— Zane

#humor

The man walked past me and stopped, observing the blood running down my neck. "Your injury. Let us tend to it." He looked out through the open doorway and silently gestured to someone out there. "Our world," he said, "is far more advanced than yours. For reasons you'll understand shortly." A thin, bony, naked woman entered the room, carrying two small, white kittens. She sat one of the fluffy cats in my lap and stuffed the other down my shirt. She turned and left. "There," said the large man. "The kittens will make your sad go away. ↗

— David Wong

#kittens #sadness #humor

Dad" I pleaded, "this is so [cuss word you never, ever say in front of your mother] ridiculous. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humor #jennifer-echols #romance #summer #humor

He'll get tired of chasing someone who doesn't chase back! ↗

— Billy Ray Cyrus

#humor

Alice wonders if other women in the middle of the night have begun to resent their Formica. ↗

— Barbara Kingsolver

#humor

They aren't the brightest crayons in the box -Max(saving the world and other extreme sports) ↗

— James Patterson

#max #maximum-ride #humor

does you costume involve leather?" she'd asked. and he'd said, "Actually, yeah, it might." it really did. it involved a leather dog collar, leather pants and a leash, and the leash was held by Ysandre, who was in skintight red rubber, from neck to knee high boots. she'd topped it off with a pair of devil horns and a red tridant. she'd made Shane her dog, complete with furry dog mask. ***"Breathe," Myrnin said. "I'm not much for it myself, but i hear it's quite good for humans."*** ↗

— Rachel Caine

#costume-party #feast-of-fools #humor #myrnin #shane-collins

It's my red hair that interferes with my good sense. All that color so close to my brain, it plum disorients me most days. ↗

— Kimberly Frost

#redheads #sense #humor