#hum

If after reading this book you come to my home and brutally murder me, I do not blame you. ↗

— Jesse Andrews

#humor

Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #humor

Question (from a reader) : Will the Wise Goddess Athena overthrow Zeus and become the ruler of Olympus? Athena's answer : What an interesting idea . . . No, just kidding, Dad. Put away the lightning bolt. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#percy-jackson #humor

Another Thing I'm Sick of Hearing: If I started that gay rights group, I must be gay. So if i start an animal rights group, what does that make me? A giraffe? ↗

— James Howe

#gay-rights #humor #humor

Obstinate, headstrong girl! ↗

— Jane Austen

#pride-and-prejudice #humor

Don't you know that it is only the very foolish folk who talk sense all the time? (Anne) ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#paradox #humor

I look down from the branch I'm perched on. The Careers look murderous. Now I smile.'How have things been with you?' I ask sweetly. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#cato #clove #glimmer #humor #katniss

Of all the idiots I have met in my life, and the Lord knows they have not been few or little, I think that I have been the biggest. ↗

— Karen Blixen

#inspirational #humor

Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.' 'Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.' Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting. ↗

— Derek Landy

#gathering #grudges #humor #humorous #mages

When it came time for me to give my talk on the subject, I started off by drawing an outline of the cat and began to name the various muscles. The other students in the class interrupt me: "We *know* all that!" "Oh," I say, "you *do*? Then no *wonder* I can catch up with you so fast after you've had four years of biology." They had wasted all their time memorizing stuff like that, when it could be looked up in fifteen minutes. ↗

— Richard P. Feynman

#learning #physics #science #humor