#hum

...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health. ↗

— Mike Birbiglia

#dating #humor #dating

Really, The smart thing to do was to stop dating and get a cat. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#dating

If a girl doesn't feel like crying for help when she's with her date, she isn't prepared to be in a relationship. The only difference is that on a date someone might come to her rescue. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #relationships #dating

Oh—and you need to work on making my opinion more important than Josh’s, too. I know it’s a stretch—he’s your most intimate relationship to date, but when you’re balls deep in my ass, I’d prefer you not be wondering if it counts as a workout. ↗

— Amy Lane

#dating

Sugar Lips, you have a guest in the fourth dimension. I repeat, you have a guest in the fourth dimension. This is Tijuana Daddy, over and out. ~Julian ↗

— Jenny B. Jones

#humor #walkie-talkie #dating

Why do humans always look at these things from the wrong perspective? Predators deserve our sympathy, too. ↗

— Beth Fantaskey

#predators #sympathy #dating

I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear ↗

— Josh Stern

#cologne #dogs #fear #humor #dating

I'm a straightforward guy. I give straight answers to unsolved mysteries, I wait to date hermaphrodites until after they get a sex change, and I never eat funnel cakes before untwisting them. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #sincerity #change

isn't telling a girl you just loooooove eating horsemeat one step away from saying you haven't lived 'til you've eaten puppy skewers? ↗

— Rachel Dratch

#dating

He had to say that the thing he found most attractive about her was that she had tried to kill herself. Now that was interesting-- sexy, almost, in a morbid kind of way. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#dating