#hum

Sometimes mortals can be more horrible than monsters. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#monsters #monsters

you don't know until you know! ↗

— Ruth Lizana-Jackson

#inspirational #thought-invoking #inspirational

Open the fridge and put My heart on a plate. I'm just as you left me, and I taste even better leftover. ↗

— Cecily von Ziegesar

#dan-humphrey #don-t-you-forget-about-me #gossip-girl #poem #poetry

They're so retarded they think stereotype means typing with both hands. ↗

— Poppet

#paranormal-urban-fantasy-romance #urban-fantasy

A blanket would be a great surface to print my new book on, so you could read it in bed while you’re having boring, obligatory sex with your spouse, who’s as dry and exciting as a sack of flour. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#books #boring #brick-and-blanket #funny #humor

Taste of metal on my tongue. Poison the color of envy- I'm delirious, you're delicious, I'm deluded and delusional. I'm lost without you. I need you. ↗

— Cecily von Ziegesar

#dan-humphrey #gossip-girl #gossip

I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#counting-sheep #humour #boredom

...You'd think the little part about them supposedly killing us would be the attention getter. ↗

— James Dashner

#the-scorch-trials-humour #trials

Three lights should be fine." - Zachary "Aye, well if it wis me, I'd want a bloody lighthoose beacon comin' oot o' my arse." - True MacDonald ↗

— Steve Alten

#loch #sci-fi #steve-alten #sci-fi

Share and Enjoy' is the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints Division, which now covers the major land masses of three medium-sized planets and is the only part of the Corporation to have shown a consistent profit in recent years. The motto stands-- or rather stood-- in three mile high illuminated letters near the Complaints Department spaceport on Eadrax. Unfortunately its weight was such that shortly after it was erected, the ground beneath the letters caved in and they dropped for nearly half their length through the offices of many talented young Complaints executives-- now deceased. The protruding upper halves of the letters now appear, in the local language, to read "Go stick your head in a pig," and are no longer illuminated, except at times of special celebration. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#sci-fi #humor