#hum

Goddammit! How does the world keep spinning with women on the planet?" Ian St. John in THE POMPEII SCROLL ↗

— Jacqueline LaTourrette

#italy #paris #pompeii #rome #suspense

Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop-bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it's all--hahhhh. ↗

— Thomas Pynchon

#humor #humor

And, well, mine are kind of on the heavy side anyway. The first day or two, I don't want to do ANYTHING. Make sure you keep away from me then.' I'd like to, but how can I tell?' I asked. O.K., I'll wear a hat for a couple of days after my period starts. A red one. That should work,' she said with a laugh. 'If you see me on the street and I'm wearing a red hat, don't talk to me, just run away. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#japanese #humor

And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it. ↗

— George W. Bush

#distrust #humor #humor

His sense of humor is purely cheap vaudeville, yet everyone falls for it. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#humor

Abandoned babies are unfortunate unwanted results of a once urgent desire to have an orgasm ↗

— David Cross

#funny #funny-but-sad #humor #humor

Our listeners asked us: "What is chaos?" We're answering: "We do not comment on economic policy. ↗

— John Vaillant

#economic-policy #humor #radio-call-in-shows #russia #humor

Where you think I’m goan?’ ‘Well,’ Eddie said, ‘what was behind Door Number One wasn’t so hot, and what was behind Door Number Two was even worse, so now, instead of quitting like sane people, we’re going to go right on ahead and check out Door Number Three. The way things have been going, I think it’s likely to be something like Godzilla or Ghidra the Three-Headed Monster, but I’m an optimist. I’m still hoping for the stainless steel cookware. ↗

— Stephen King

#humor

I’ve always found wildlife very calming-- except when animals are eating each other, of course. ↗

— Tom Upton

#life #young-adult #humor

Rush to danger; wind up nowhere. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor