#hum

What the hell am I doing...? Escape holding myself as a hostage...? I won't be able to make it like that... ↗

— Tsugumi Ohba

#humour #stupidity #funny

I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset. ↗

— Hannah Harrington

#humor #humour #funny

But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #politics #funny

History is an endless repetition of the element of surprise. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#history #humor #funny

Portrait: a painted picture expressing less words than a photograph, and hence more accurate. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #language #pictures #funny

Connie, have you been trying to call me?" No Archie. "Well, my phone has not been ringing all day, and I thought it might have been you. ↗

— Lawrence Sanders

#humor

A brick could be surgically inserted in the chest of a man who needs a heart transplant. And for just $20,000 more dollars, that brick could be replaced with a new heart.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

I often arrive at quite sensible ideas and judgements, on the spur of the moment. It is when I stop to think that I become foolish. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#humour #thinking #funny

I live on the other side of Charles Darwin and I can no longer see human light as having been created perfect and falling into sin, I see us rather emerging into higher and higher levels of consciousness and higher and higher levels of complication. ↗

— John Shelby Spong

#charles #complication #consciousness #created #darwin

I think one of the things we've got to look out for is human beings claiming that they know how God operates. ↗

— John Shelby Spong

#claiming #god #got #how #human