#hum

A singer can shatter glass with the proper high note," he said, "but the simplest way to break glass is simply to drop it on the floor. ↗

— Anne Rice

#humor #lestat #logic #luxury #meaning

She made an impatient noise. "By the Angel, you don't know anything about your kid, do you? Do you even really know how vampires are made?" "Well, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much ... ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-fallen-angels #funny #humor #isabelle-lightwood #simon-lewis

Like every other creature on the face of the earth, Godfrey was, by birthright, a stupendous badass, albeit in the somewhat narrow technical sense that he could trace his ancestry back up a long line of slightly less highly evolved stupendous badasses to that first self-replicating gizmo---which, given the number and variety of its descendants, might justifiably be described as the most stupendous badass of all time. Everyone and everything that wasn't a stupendous badass was dead. ↗

— Neal Stephenson

#humor #internet #neal #stephenson #wwii

More than anything." Rob persisted. "You'd crawl on your belly over broken glass for her. Easy. ↗

— L.J. Smith

#paranormal #romance #humor

Yeah you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Good-bye. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#sarcasm #tell-off #wit #humor

Mark: When did you learn to drive? Courtney: About three seconds ago. ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#humor

The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#humor #humor

Yeah, fucknuts, its you. You're me. To get into this place, You're gonna have to kill me. Which is not gonna happen 'cause I'm not so cool with dying. What is gonna happen is that i'm gonna kick your ass and kill you dead. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#humor

So that means that Peter..." I swallowed. "That his full name was Peter Parker." "Yeah" I burst into tears. "Oh, my God! I killed Spiderman! ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#humor

Nïx lay on her side, bending her elbow to casually prop her head in her hand. With a sigh she said, “Bowen, I took you on as my pet project because I like to ogle you. Due to your rowr factor. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humor