#hum

Royce turned to Hadrian. “It’s supposed to make them look tough, but all it really does is make it easy to identify them as thieves for the rest of their lives. Painting a red hand on everyone is pretty stupid when you think about it.” “That tattoo is supposed to be a hand?” Hadrian asked. “I thought it was a little red chicken. But now that you mention it, a hand does make more sense.” Royce looked back at Will and tilted his head to one side. “Does kinda look like a chicken. ↗

— Michael J. Sullivan

#humor

Right. And our first job is to teach her to give a speech on the Grand Balcony in three days.” “That does not sound too difficult. Has she done much public speaking?” Amilia forced a smile. “A week ago she said the word no. ↗

— Michael J. Sullivan

#humor

Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

When you take advice from a cat, there are always consequences. ↗

— Elora Bishop

#cat #elora-bishop #humor #sappho-s-fables #humor

A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

Ladies and gentlemen, Princess Pink has officially brung it. ↗

— Sarah Ockler

#humor

When I asked her what she'd thought of Pride and Prejudice, she only wondered aloud how anyone could have written a novel set in the first part of the nineteenth century without once mentioning Napoleon. ↗

— Michelle Cooper

#humor

Why hasn't someone lassoed a few teenagers and had them sit down and write out all the supposed answers they have so we can solve the world's problems already? ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#problems #richelle #richelle-goodrich #teenagers #world-issues

Somebody is always hiding something. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#humor

I'll see she gets them," Brodick said. Judith shook her head. "I want to meet her," she explained. She stood up and walked over to the table. "I have messages to give her from her mother." "I'll be happy to show you the way," Alex volunteered. "I'll do it," Gowrie announced in a much firmer voice. Brodick shook his head. "Isabelle is my sister-in-law," he snapped. "I'll show Judith the way." Iain had opened the door, and stood there listening to the argument. He was having difficulty believing what he was hearing… and seeing. His warriors were acting like lovesick squires while they argued over who would escort Judith. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#lovesickness #humor