#hum

The nails from a suicide's coffin, and the skull of the parricide, were of course no trouble; for Vesquit never traveled without these household requisites. ↗

— Aleister Crowley

#humor #magic #magick #necromancy #humor

Harrier twisted himself sideways on his saddle to stare at him [Tiercel]. 'You had a vision,' he said flaty. Yes. No. I don't know. I...Yes. No. ↗

— Mercedes Lackey

#humor #tiercel #humor

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. ↗

— William Castle

#humor

Ulrich Van Holtz continued to read the latest tome on world economics, pretending to be bored, but in truth absolutely fascinated! ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#van-holtz #wolves #humor

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #humor #love #naughty

But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. "Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - " Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #witty #funny

I'm an amateur at life. I'll let you know when I go pro. ↗

— D. VonThaer

#life #humor

Why do those hard choices in life—you know, the ones you make because they're the right damn thing to do—always feel like you've just been kicked in the balls? Dark Desires at Midnight - Arran ↗

— Jessica Lee

#humor

Diazapam (that's valium), temazepam, lithium, ECT, HRT - how long must I stay on this stuff? Don't give me anymore! ↗

— Morrissey

#life #lyrics #music #humor

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall take flack from both sides."- Unofficial UN Motto ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#diplomacy #humor #motto #humor