#hum

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#stupidity #humor

The Lord turned water into wine. All I'm suggesting is a trip to the grocery store. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#humorous #funny

Alice is fictional. This isn't. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#dark-humor #group-think #groupthink #lady-gaga #mad-magazine

It was one of those moments that would have had dramatic music if my life were a movie, but instead I got a radio jingle for some kind of submarine sandwich place blaring over the store's ambient stereo. The movie of my life must be really low-budget. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#life #humor

You think you’re a very clever fellow, don’t you?” Saldur challenged. “No, Your Grace,” Merrick replied. “Clever is the man who makes a fortune selling dried-up cows, explaining how it saves the farmers the trouble of getting up every morning to milk them. I’m not clever—I’m a genius. ↗

— Michael J. Sullivan

#humor

Humidity did terrible things to me. I‘d be much prettier if I lived in the desert. ↗

— Kim Harrington

#humor

At that point Ms Fox came in and said, "Hello, carry on as if I am not here." Then she lay down on the floor. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor

I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#humor #twelfth-night #humor

A true Vor, Miles told himself severely, does not bury his face in his liegewoman's breasts and cry--even if he is at a convenient height for it. ↗