#hum

Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read. ↗

— Frank Zappa

#music #writing #humor

I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#men #romance #humor

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#humor #innuendo #naughty #humor

There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #humor

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#hiccup #hobbes #humor #humor

It is a defect of God's humor that he directs our hearts everywhere but to those who have a right to them. ↗

— Tom Stoppard

#love #humor

Mythologically speaking, if there's anything I hate worse than trios of old ladies, it's bulls. Last summer, I fought the Minotaur on top of Half-Blood Hill. This time what I saw up there was even worse: two bulls. And not just regular bulls - bronze ones the size of elephants. And even that wasn't bad enough. Naturally they had to breathe fire, too. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

Erre es korakas, Blinky!" Dionysus cursed. "I will have your soul! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #olympians #humor

Fresh is better. But you've never drunk fresh blood. Have you?" Simon raised his eyebrow in response. "Well, aside from mine of course," Jace said. "And I'm pretty sure my blood is fan-tastic. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #humor

Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor