#hum

I wanted a divorce, so I bought myself a house, to give me the incentive to stay married. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #marriage #funny

She wore a loose bathrobe that covered up a body that would have won first prize in a beauty contest for cement blocks.....She had a voice that made pearl harbour sound like a lullaby. ↗

— Richard Brautigan

#hardboiled #humour #noir #beauty

Democratic politicians have disliked things I've written, Republican politicians... if they all love you, you might as well be driving a Good Humor truck. ↗

— Adam Clymer

#disliked #driving #good #humor #i

I want to be taken seriously as the type of musician that plays stuff like an electric rake. I mean, how seriously do you take someone like Spike Jones? They take him pretty seriously - a really good musician who made a great contribution in terms of humor, which is part of what I try to do too. ↗

— Eugene Chadbourne

#electric #good #great #him #how

Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #laugh #funny

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury. ↗

— Edwin Hubbel Chapin

#dares #does #forgive #human #human soul

Home - that blessed word, which opens to the human heart the most perfect glimpse of Heaven, and helps to carry it thither, as on an angel's wings. ↗

— Lydia M. Child

#blessed #carry #glimpse #heart #heaven

Every human being has, like Socrates, an attendant spirit; and wise are they who obey its signals. If it does not always tell us what to do, it always cautions us what not to do. ↗

— Lydia M. Child

#attendant #being #does #every #human

Women must be the spokesmen for a new humanity arising out of the reconciliation of spirit and body. ↗

— Carol P. Christ

#body #humanity #must #new #out

Nothing is more noble, nothing more venerable than fidelity. Faithfulness and truth are the most sacred excellences and endowments of the human mind. ↗

— Marcus Tullius Cicero

#faithfulness #fidelity #human #human mind #mind