#hum

A brick could be used as a patsy in a murder plot.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

She couldn't help thinking that something was wrong with a person had more shoes than books in their home. ↗

— Victoria Connelly

#bookworms #chick-lit #girly #humour #reading

Unless it was about to cause you bodily harm, rot your rhubarb on the stalk, or carry off your children, weather ought either to be celebrated or ignored. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#home

I'm some sort of guinea pig in a home economics crash course for werewolves. ↗

— Kat Kruger

#werewolves #home

Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?" "Yes." "You called her a liar?" "Yes." "You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?" "Yes." "Have a biscuit, Potter. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #rebellion #humor

Tension fled from me. Tomorrow I would worry about Hugh d’Ambray and Andrea and Roland, but now I was simply happy. Aaahh. Home. My place, my smells, my familiar rug under my feet, my kitchen, my Curran in the kitchen chair . . . Wait a damn minute. “You! ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate #home

You scared of that pip-squeak? Dude, you got a lot to learn. Freakin' Newbies. ↗

— James Dashner

#humor

She had hit rock-bottom. She had given a blow job to a man who for all intents and purposes, was a bum. He had smelled so bad, she forced him to spray on some of the perfume she always carried in her purse. Her favorite perfume. After tonight, she was quitting. Yeah, she’d have to go back home with her two kids, grovel to her mama and work a dead-end job, but anything was better than getting down on your knees to give a guy as disgusting as Lenny a one-off. ↗

— A.T. Hicks

#humor #irony #prostitute #strip-club #home

Come on, it is a guest bedroom! If you want your guests to feel at home, they should be allowed to do whatever they do at home! ↗

— Daniele Lanzarotta

#imprinted-souls-series #nicholas #shattered-souls #vampires #home

Finally- no more ruddy show for the folks back home. No pretending it's all beer and skittles and no one ever gets hurt.- Phoenix and Ashes ↗

— Mercedes Lacky

#sad #thoughts-on-war #home