#hum

It's official. Highway patrolmen are not susceptible to the Jedi Mind Trick. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#police #humor

A few years ago it dawned on me that everybody past a certain age ... pretty much constantly dreams of being able to escape from their lives. They don't want to be who they are any more. They want out. This list includes Thurston Howell the Third, Ann-Margret, the cat members of Rent, Václav Havel, space shuttle astronauts and Snuffleupagus. It's universal. ↗

— Douglas Coupland

#humour #life #philosophy #age

Perhaps the time has come to cease calling it the "environmentalist" view, as though it were a lobbying effort outside the mainstream of human activity, and to start calling it the real-world view. ↗

— E. O. Wilson

#calling #cease #come #effort #environmentalist

I am approximately 96.694444% in love with you. Of course, that’s just a rough estimate. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

I was seen spotted with an older woman and a girl half my height in age. A leopard was also spotted.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #girl #height #humor #leopard

Then you're aping him. Valentine was one of the most arrogant and disrespectful men I've ever met. I suppose he brought you up to be just like him." "Yes," Jace said, unable to help himself, "I was trained to be an evil mastermind from a young age. Pulling the wings off flies, poisoning the earth's water supply — I was covering that stuff in kindergarten. I guess we're all just lucky my father faked his own death before he got to the raping and pillaging part of my education, or no one would be safe. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #age

We were both satellites orbiting Denny’s sun, struggling for gravitational supremacy. Of course, she had the advantage of her tongue and her thumbs, and when I watched her kiss and fondle him sometimes she would glance at me and wink as if to gloat: Look at my thumbs! See what they can do! ↗

— Garth Stein

#dogs #thumbs #art

To me acting is like a jigsaw puzzle. The jigsaw puzzle is of the sky and all the pieces are blue. Out of this you have to create a human being and put it together. ↗

— Henry Winkler

#being #blue #create #human #human being

I do not know of any credible evidence that suggests Dr. Zavos can clone a human being. This seems to be yet another one of his claims to get publicity. ↗

— Robert Winston

#any #being #claims #clone #credible

The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty. ↗

— Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

#funny #humor #beauty