#humor

Didn't people consider what could happen if armies of farm animals united in revolt? ↗

— J.D. Robb

#farm-animals #humor #revolt #death

And then the Necromancers pulled out their sub-atomic machine guns. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists? ↗

— Jandy Nelson

#lennie-walker #witty #death

Wayne's a little attached to that hat," Waxillium said. "He thinks it's lucky." Wayne: "It is lucky. I ain't never died while wearing that hat." Marasi frowned. "I ... I'm not sure I know how to respond." Wax: "That's a common reaction to Wayne. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#death #hat #humor #luck #death

You know that thing about Death Be Not Proud? Well, Fear Be Not Proud either. And Fear Be Not Elegant. What Fear be is stumbling, bumbling flight, crashing through brush, slip-sliding on pine needles, sloshing through puddles that are always deeper than you expect. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#humor #death

Is your butt buzzing?" Cole, you have the worst timing! I jerked upright, tring to pull my phone out of my pocket and managing instead to bang my elbow against the wall. Ow! Oh, shit that hurts! You know, the guy who decided it should be a funny bone was just a freaking masochist. Or is it a sadist? I always get those mixed up. ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#death

I have several close friends who have run marathons, a word that is actually derived from two Swahili words: mara, which means 'to die a horrible death', and thon, which means 'for a stupid T-shirt.' Look it up. ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#humor #death

The dead know everything but they don't give a damn. ↗

— Joanne Harris

#humor #knowledge #death

Kidnapped by a vampire, death by a squid. How tragic. ↗

— Abigail Gibbs

#sarcastic-humor #violet-lee #death

I think it would be well, and proper, and obedient, and pure, to grasp your one necessity and not let it go, to dangle from it limp wherever it takes you. Then even death, where you're going no matter how you live, cannot you part. ↗

— Annie Dillard

#essays #humor #inspirational #nature-writing #weasels