#humor

The kakapo is a bird out of time. If you look one in its large, round, greeny-brown face, it has a look of serenely innocent incomprehension that makes you want to hug it and tell it that everything will be all right, thought you know that it probably will not be. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#kakapo #science #humor

Hail to the Victorious Parasol! ↗

— Gail Carriger

#humor

That could be a very sexy story. ↗

— LynDee Walker

#humor #mystery #news #reporter #women

I once met a man who was paranoid about dying, so i shot him ↗

— Mark Brandon Read

#humor

It was the only way to silence you.” She bristled with outrage. “Silence me? You took liberties with my … my … my lips in order to silence me? That was very impertinent of you, Laird. I won’t allow you to do it again.” 6/756 He smiled and folded his arms over his chest. “Aye, you will.” Her mouth gaped open in astonishment and then worked up and down as she struggled to speak. “I assure you I won’t.” “I assure you that you will. ↗

— Maya Banks

#humor

So, what are you doing with my little sister today?” Daniel asked. I closed my eyes in defeat. “I’m afraid I can’t ruin the surprise,” Noah said. “But I promise I’ll return her intact.” He did not just say that. Daniel cackled ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#embarrassment #humor #humor

He peered down at me. “Jesus Christ. You’re leaking.” If by “leaking” he meant “sobbing like a girl,” I guess so. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#humor #ya-paranormal #humor

he shrugged. "occupational hazard of being a research assistant to a total dick". ↗

— Sylvain Reynard

#humor

Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#humor

A hero without faults is like an omelet without little bits of eggshell in it. ↗