#humor

It stands to reason that anyone who learns to live well will die well. The skills are the same: being present in the moment, and humble, and brave, and keeping a sense of humor. (361) ↗

— Victoria Moran

#dying #humility #humor #living #mindfulness

In the middle of the night I am awakened by a sound. I sit up abruptly in bed. I hear it again. It's music. Wait, it sounds like the ice cream man, in our house. Is this some kind of twisted nightmare? The flipping ice cream man, breaking in to chop us all up in our beds to the tune of 'Zippity Do Dah'?... My heart slows. I remember. There is no psycho ice cream man here. It is just our new musical soap dispenser... ↗

— Deb Caletti

#humor

I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #humor

Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. ↗

— George F. Will

#humor #humor

You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.” Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#love #mulch #humor

Any civilization where the main symbol of religious veneration is a tool of execution is a bad place to have children. ↗

— Charles Stross

#humor #religion #humor

I think therapy is a rather misguided notion of capitalist societies whereby the self-indulgent examination of one's life supersedes the actual living of said life. ↗

— Peter Cameron

#therapy #humor

He does not see as i have that you have given him your heart, but he is male. We will cut him some slack for that handicap, yes? ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#love #humor

I look at life like a big book and sometimes you get half way through it and go 'Even though I've been enjoying it, I've had enough. Give us another book ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#humor

Of all the things God created, from sunrises and rainbows, to black holes and humor, cats are the most fascinating to me.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor