#humor

That night was a dark day. Of course, all nights are dark days, because night is simply a badly lit version of day, ... ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor #night #humor

And you've got a boy right there who looks at you like he would drink your bathwater if you'd ask him! ↗

— Abbi Glines

#jax #ms-mary #humor

Mouth in gear, brain stuck in neutral. ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

Scientists need to invent a way to make DNA work like in cartoons. ↗

— Ryan North

#humor #science #humor

As in music, when we hear the crescendo building, suddenly if the music stops, we begin to hear the silence as part of the music. ↗

— Chögyam Trungpa

#enlightenment #humor #music #silence #silent-music

I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#humor

- Las mariposas en el estómago-suspiró Karou-Claro. ¿Sabes lo que pienso? Que las mariposas están siempre ahí, en el estómago de todos, en todo momento... - ¿Cómo bacterias? - No, no como bacterias, como mariposas. Y las de cada uno reaccionan con determinadas personas, a nivel químico, como feromonas, así cuando esas personas se acercan, tus mariposas empiezan a bailar. No pueden evitarlo, es una reacción química. ↗

— Laini Taylor

#humor

If you'd just learn to do as I say from the beginning, I wouldn't have to follow up your errors with reproving smirks and repeated 'I told you so's. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#listening #richelle #richelle-goodrich #humor

I stamped, certified, and lipsticked my life in a package sent through Priority Mail directly to the devil herself...and there's no turning back. ↗

— Amy Holder

#humor

Bring the luggage in, Thomas,” Lucian ordered with a frown as he approached the front. “What about the girl?” Thomas asked with irritation. “That’s what I meant.” Lucian stepped through the open front doors of the house. ↗

— Lynsay Sands

#humor