#humor

Phury was the only other possibility, but he was a celibate with a broken frickin' heart. Not really man-whore material. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

I'm Charles Baker Harris...I can read ↗

— Harper Lee

#humor

Don't harsh the mellow. ↗

— Tymber Dalton

#mellow #humor

In times of crisis, it is of the utmost importance that one does not lose her head. Marie Antoinette ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#humor

You're not happy to see me, then?' Jace said. 'I have to say, I'm surprised. I've always been told my presence brightened up any room. One might think that went doubly for dank underground cells. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#wisdom #humor

In a manner of speaking. As we intend for you to found a dynasty. And that dynasty will rule society until it has progressed enough to-" "Overthrow the dynasty in a revolutionary, blood filled coup!" Iggy said eagerly. We all looked at him. "Just saying." He sheepishly took a bite of cookie. ↗

— James Patterson

#science #humor

We want Max to... breed. To produce heirs. Who will govern the world after she dies." Dead silence for quite some time. We all stared at Dr. Hans, our jaws dropped to various levels. Our lives had reached a new low of inhumanity. My face flushed. Part of me had assumed, hoped, that if Fang and I lived long enough, we would get married. Maybe have a little flock of our own. But i really hadn't planned it all out. And he was gone now, anyway. How could I possibly ever find someone... My eyes scanned Dylan's face, I saw his discomfort. "Oh, no," I said in horror. "Yes," Angel confirmed. "Freaking unbelievable. ↗

— James Patterson

#mother #humor

I am not worthy." he said softly. "Damn fucking straight," someone growled. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#throe #humor

Who knew Lenny was an encyclopedia for useless information? ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor