#humor

You lie, in faith; for you are call'd plain Kate, And bonny Kate and sometimes Kate the curst; But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate, For dainties are all Kates, and therefore, Kate, Take this of me, Kate of my consolation; Hearing thy mildness praised in every town, Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded, Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs, Myself am moved to woo thee for my wife. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#beauty

Little Words When you are gone, there is nor bloom nor leaf, Nor singing sea at night, nor silver birds; And I can only stare, and shape my grief In little words. I cannot conjure loveliness, to drown The bitter woe that racks my cords apart. The weary pen that sets my sorrow down Feeds at my heart. There is no mercy in the shifting year, No beauty wraps me tenderly about. I turn to little words- so you, my dear, Can spell them out. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#poetry #beauty

This table is a pigeon trap. A dozen different forks and knives and spoons. Four different goblets. All of them just waiting to be knocked over or misapplied and mishandled. It’s a wonder anyone is ever tempted to eat. ↗

— Siri Mitchell

#humor #beauty

You're getting better, my lady." "Don't patronize me." "No, really, Your Highness. When you started painting five years ago, I could never tell what it was you were trying to depict." "And this is a painting of . ." Ashe paused. "A bowl of fruit?" he asked hopefully. Sarene sighed in frustration. _______________________________ "Beautifully—which is more than I can say for the painting." He paused for a moment. "It's a horse, right?" Sarene scowled. "A house?" he asked. "It is not a bowl of fruit either, my lord," Ashe said. "I already tried that." "Well, she said it was one of the paintings in this room," Lukel said. "All we have to do is keep guessing until we find the right one." "Brilliant deduction, Master Lukel." Ashe said. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#beauty

There's a gift in your lap and it's beautifully wrapped and it's not your birthday. You feel wonderful, you feel like somebody knows you're alive, you feel fear because it could be a bomb, because you think you're that important. ↗

— Aimee Bender

#quirky #beauty

You know what I like most about people? Pets.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #misanthrope #people #pet

Renee was beautiful, but she was my friend now. On the other hand, Annette was my friend, but now she was beautiful. makes about as much sense as anything ever does with girls ↗

— Jordan Sonnenblick

#humor #love #beauty

He is some brainless, beautiful creature, who should always be here in winter when we have no flowers to look at, and always here in the summer when we want something to chill our intelligence. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#beauty

You mightn't think it, but Sloppy is a beautiful reader of a newspaper. He do the Police in different voices' The visitors again considered it a point of politeness to look at Sloppy, who, looking at them, suddenly threw back his head, extended his moth to the utmost width, and laughed loud and long. At this the two innocents, with their brains in that apparent danger, laughed, and Mrs. Higden laughed, and the orphan laughed, and then the visitors laughed. Which was more cheerful than intelligible. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#beauty

The beauty of the ultrasound scan is something that only parents can appreciate, but Emma had seen these things before and knew what was required of her. ‘Beautiful,’ she sighed, though in truth it could have been a Polaroid of the inside of his pocket. ↗

— David Nicholls

#beauty