#humor

What's your angle?" I asked, trying to sound more playful than demanding. "Isosceles," Jack quipped. ↗

— Amanda Hocking

#math-humor #quip #retort #humor

Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor

I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating. -Ella Varner ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #jack-travis #procrastination #humor

I'm making a list I'm making a list of things I must say For politeness, And goodness and kindness and gentleness Sweetness and rightness: Hello Pardon me How are you? Excuse me Bless you May I? Thank you Goodbye If you know some that I've forgot, Please stick them in you eye! ↗

— Shel Silverstein

#manners #poems #humor

You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#sarcasm #humor

Another werewolf thing. Like most animals, we spent a large part of our lives engaged in the three Fs of basic survival. Feeding, fighting and... reproduction. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #werewolves #humor

It was impossible to get the Dimitri and Tasha thing out of my head, but at least packing and getting ready made sure I didn't devote 100 percent of my brain power to him. More like 95 percent. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor

Katniss: 'What about you? Ive seen you in the market. You can lift hundred pound bags of flour'. I snap at him Tell him that. Thats not nothing. Peeta: Yes and Im sure the arena will be full of bags of flour for me to chuck at people. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#sarcasm #humor

I like ducks." Jem observed diplomatically. "Esspecially the ones in Hyde Park." He glanced side ways at Will; both boys were sitting at the edge of a high table, thier legs dangling over the side. "Remember when you tried to convince me to feed pultry pie the the mallards in the park to see if you couls breed a race of cannibal ducks?" "They ate it too," Will reminisced. "Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#ducks #humor #jem #will #humor

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate #humor