#humor

I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cranberries #dating #funny #humor #music

Twitter provides us with a wonderful platform to discuss/confront societal problems. We trend Justin Bieber instead. ↗

— Lauren Leto

#humor #trends #twitter #humor

Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is actually used to cut diamonds," I added. Radar tapped a locker twice with his fist to show his approval, and then came back with another. "Ben, getting you a date to prom is so hard that the American government believes the problem cannot be solved with diplomacy, but will instead require force. ↗

— John Green

#dating #high-school #humor #john-green #paper-towns

Patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for. ↗

— Julie Spira

#cyberdating #dating-advice #humor #julie-spira #online-dating

It took a long time, but I've finally figured it out. When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it's really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do. ↗

— Randy Pausch

#dating #humor #men-and-women #dating

GUESS WHERE I AM. CLUE? she texted back SWEAR U WON'T TELL A SOUL? U HAVE 2 ASK? I reluctantly texted,@ DINNER W. MARCIE'S DAD. #?@#$?!& MY MOM IS DATING HIM. TRAITOR! IF THEY GET MARRIED, U & MARCIE... COULD USE A LITTLE CONSOLATION HERE! DOES HE KNOW UR TEXTING ME? Vee asked. NO. THEY R INSIDE. I'M IN THE PARKING LOT ----COOPERSMITHS. THE PIMP. 2 GOOD 4 APPLEBEE'S, I SEE. I'M GOING 2 ORDER THE MOST EXPENSIVE THIN ON THE MENU. IF ALL GOES WELL,HIM GOING TO THROW HANK'S DRINK IN HIS FACE 2. ~Nora & Vee ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#dating

My major vice is sarcasm with a side of caffeine addiction. ↗

— Rosemary Clement-Moore

#dating

Nix to Regin: What about that nice leopard-shifter pack that wanted to date you? The benefits of a variety pack of males cannot be overstated. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#iad #dating

What should I say? ‘Well, the murder was a little upsetting, and the fire did worry me a bit. I was nearly date-raped and my ex best friend is crazy. But, hey, at least I’m making an A in History’? ↗

— C.J. Daugherty

#dating

And since I’m marrying into the Quartet, I have certain privileges and duties. If you’re sleeping with Laurel—” “I’m not sleeping with Laurel. We’re dating.” “Right, and the two of you are just going to hold hands, admire the moon, and sing camp songs.” “For a while. Minus the singing. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#friends #funny #humor #relationships #dating