#humor

When the lake freezes, everything seems lifeless. ↗

— teana

#inspirational

Tomorrow was my second chance to make things right but it never came. I’m sorry I never treasured the time we had for those regrets I take the blame. You gave everything you had. I took without giving back.” Sed paused in his song, feeling ridiculous for singing it to her while they made love. “Baby, you realize this song is about Trey’s dead dog, don’t you? ↗

— Olivia Cunning

#sex #song #humor

Snoring keeps the monsters away. ↗

— Judy Blume

#snoring #humor

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chinese throwing stars get you a dozen stitches. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#twists #humor

You can run from the grave, but you can't hide. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#vampire #humor

Tut, Tut, looks like rain ↗

— A.A. Milne

#weather #humor

No soy pesimista. Soy un optimista bien informado. ↗

— Antonio Gala

#irony #pesimismo #humor

Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut." Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. "I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #nut #squid #humor

She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor

Besides, Southerners are hospitable. They'll probably offer me lemonade." Excuse me? You're going to sit on a porch and drink lemonade while I plow a swamp with a goat's horn?" Yes, ma'am. And I aim to wear my seamless shirt while you do it. ↗

— Nancy Werlin

#humor