#humor

I’d put a banana on my tray, too. That, at least, didn’t remind me of anything trying to kill me. Could you kill someone with a banana? It didn’t seem possible. Maybe a possessed banana. I’d seen possessed pets before, but not possessed fruit. But I’ll bet it’s out there somewhere. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#humor #strange-angels #humor

I close my eyes and lean my head against the seat, and the word fuck just repeats itself over and over in my head, because fuck. ↗

— Courtney Summers

#humor

Well now," the scholar went on, "I'm just an old fuddy-duddy who could use a tan, so you needn't grant my opinion any authority, but I consider the queendom lucky that a handful of Milliners and their children lived incognito among the population during Redd's tyranny. ↗

— Frank Beddor

#frank #glass #humor #incognito #looking

I suggest we depict penguins as callous and unfeeling creatures who insist on bringing up their children in what is little more than a large chest freezer. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#penguins #humor

I’ve heard it said: ‘By his home you shall know him’; and we all know that we must pay attention to anyone who reverses the subject and auxiliary verb in his sentence. ↗

— Steven Brust

#humor

Im studying jerkoffs in the wild," Ben answered dryly. "This seemed like a good chance to view one up close. ↗

— Kathy Reichs

#humor #humor

Luck is a woman. She's drawn to those that least deserve her. ↗

— Joe Abercrombie

#luck #women #humor

Will speechless for once, a glass of water frozen halfway to his lips ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will-herondale #humor

Don''t headbutt the sun, idiot. ↗

— Wheezywaiter

#obvious #ridiculous #humor

Still trying to save the world?” “Always,” I said, “and in case you haven’t noticed, it’s working. The world is still here. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#save-the-world #humor