#humor

Allow me to congratulate you on your very astute powers of observation. ↗

— Kate DiCamillo

#humor

Thierry had no idea why they were called French doors. His native countrymen weren't stupid enough to put them in their homes. ↗

— Lynn Viehl

#humor

She sat down at the table and spent a good hour talking about her husband. She told Judith how they'd met, how he relentlessly pursued her, and finished by mentioning just a hundred or two of his special qualities. The only thing the man wasn't capable of was walking on water… yet. Judith made that comment when her friend paused for breath. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy? -Ursula K. Le Guin, author (b. 1929) ↗

— Ursula K. Le Guin

#insanity #sanity #society #humor

I'm an elephant today. I will need to have lots of room and also a bowl of water on the floor. ↗

— Jesse Ball

#elephant #humor #personal-space #silly #humor

When I opened the last [401k] statement, I jumped out of the window. True, it was the kitchen window and I only fell two feet, so the whole scene lacked drama, but I thought that was the required reaction to extreme financial turmoil in America. And I am nothing if not patriotic. ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#humor #humor

Does the Pope love Jesus? ↗

— Dana Marie Bell

#humor

There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor #science #humor

Why are all gay men understanding and compassionate?” “Pfft.” I arced an eyebrow at her. “They're not, trust me. Its a myth.” “A straight man wouldn't understand cramps, mood swings, backaches, not to mention the price of tampons... ↗

— Zathyn Priest

#humor

Wagner's music is better than it sounds ↗

— Edgar Wilson Nye

#music #humor