#humor

Faith is hoping that the wizard behind the curtain will explain what the flying monkeys had to do with you realizing that there is no place like home. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#hope #humor #wizard-of-oz #faith

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. ↗

— Langston Hughes

#air #cleanse #cool #earth #like

I visited Jobs for the last time in his Palo Alto, Calif., home. He had moved to a downstairs bedroom because he was too weak to go up and down stairs. He was curled up in some pain, but his mind was still sharp and his humor vibrant. ↗

— Walter Isaacson

#because #bedroom #down #downstairs #go

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off. ↗

— Stephen King

#humor #religion #family

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. ↗

— Jesse Ventura

#go #head #humor #mud #sense

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. ↗

— William James

#common #common sense #dancing #different #just

I had a dream about you. You took control of my body and forced me to have sex with you. Then you called the cops, and the police said I raped you—but I was the one who was raped. If I had known you were that kind of person, I’d have never voted you into political office in the first place.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were in the distant future. We were in love. We were so old and decrepit and one by one our body parts had been replaced by mannequin parts. But I still loved you, even though you looked like you belonged in a department store. 
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

You're missing the wow factor." Garrett snickered. "Did you really just say wow factor?" "Oh, whatever. What are you, twelve?" "Twelve inches, baby." Garrett winked. Miller laughed and rolled his eyes. "In your dreams, buddy. ↗

— Amanda Young

#humor #dreams

The script was just the best I'd read in a long time and I love the humor, which I wasn't expecting, and I like the fact that my six year old daughter can see the show without being, you know, protected from it. ↗

— Stephen Collins

#best #daughter #expecting #fact #humor