#humor

If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

Even geniuses could get things wrong-look at Einstein's unfortunate choice of a hairdresser. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#humor #wrongness #humor

I wonder how Admat can be everywhere. Is he in my sandal? Or is he my sandal itself? Why would a god bother to be a sandal? Does he wear shoes or sandals himself, invisible ones? ↗

— Gail Carson Levine

#humor #sandals #humor

One day I will rule the world with a goat by my side! ↗

— Jhonen Vasquez

#humor

You know how people are always threatenin' to shove this or that up someone's ass, but they never really do it? Well, now there's a new story gonna be told 'round the fire: 'How Coyote Shoved An Arrow Up A Fallen Angel's Ass. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#humor

If sarcasm were a virtue, I'd be the most righteous man alive. ↗

— Simeon Stoychev

#humor

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool apotamus? ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#humor

He was having more fun than a barrelful of monkeys.* *Several years earlier Spider had actually been tremendously disappointed by a barrelful of monkeys. It had done nothing he had considered particularly entertaining, apart from emit interesting noises, and eventually, once the noises had stopped and the monkeys were no longer doing anything at all—except possibly on an organic level—had needed to be disposed of in the dead of night. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #humor

Shall I add a man to my collection? ↗

— Patricia A. McKillip

#humor

Plan. Yes. Good idea. I should come up with a plan. ↗

— Steven Brust

#plan #vlad-taltos #humor