#humor

A reputation for money is almost as negotiable as money itself. ↗

If you could go back and relive any perfect moment in your life, which one would it be?”His smile took her breath away. “You know I’m forbidden to use that‘gift’ except in the direst of circumstances. And itdoesn’t work like that—remember, I can only bend it to gain back the last few minutes.”“I know, but if youcould. Humor me.”He thought for a long moment. “None of them.”Disappointment stabbed her. “Why not?”“Because the perfect moment can never be improved, and should be remembered, cherished, just the way it was. Like every moment I spend in your arms,” he said.“We should just go forward and make more of them. ↗

— J.D. Tyler

#humor

What would you tell her about me?” He did not just ask that. “You did not just ask that.” She chuckled. “I’m serious,” he smiled. “Very well, if you must know, I would say that you are arrogant and foolish, too handsome for your own good and far too cognizant of your own intellect. Unbending, unsympathetic, dogmatic, pig-headed—” “Handsome?” he interrupted, unable to keep the smile from his face. “And intelligent?” “Don’t forget arrogant. ↗

— Leigh LaValle

#humorous #humor

Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. -Leo Rosten ↗

— Leo Rosten

#humor

Due to man’s curiosity, he will always get in trouble. ↗

— P.G. Meyer

#humor

Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes... ↗

— Helen Fielding

#parents #humor

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi. ↗