#humor

Men these days expect their wives to be as dazzling as their mistresses.” That's shocking," said the Major. "How on earth will they tell them apart? ↗

— Helen Simonson

#men

Once I faced a female with diamond skin," Nix said breathlessly. "I was transfixed - even as she was choking the life out of me." "Really?" " No, I saw that character on X men. I just wanted to commiserate. Alas, I have no weaknesses." "Except your insanity," Lucia pointed out. sigh. "Well played, Archer. then carry on... ↗

— Kresley Cole

#nix-the-ever-knowing #men

As heirs to a legacy more than two centuries old, it is understandable why present-day Americans would take their own democracy for granted. A president freely chosen from a wide-open field of two men every four years; a Congress with a 99% incumbency rate; a Supreme Court comprised of nine politically appointed judges whose only oversight is the icy scythe of Death -- all these reveal a system fully capable of maintaining itself. But our perfect democracy, which neither needs nor particularly wants voters, is a rarity. It is important to remember there still exist other forms of government in the world today, and that dozens of foreign countries still long for a democracy such as ours to be imposed on them. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#democracy #humor #politics #supreme-court #voting

You got off on the wrong foot. I merely watched you shove it into your mouth. ↗

— Sabrina Jeffries

#men

Women are a kind of bomb where men should be trained and skilled in defusing, before falling in love.otherwise you'll spend rest of ur life in collecting pieces! ↗

— Thenten

#love

Some say knowledge is power. Some tell us that all power comes from the gods. Others say it derives from law. Yet that day on the steps of Baelor’s Sept, our godly High Septon and the lawful Queen Regent and your ever-so-knowledgeable servant were as powerless as any cobbler or cooper in the crowd. Who truly killed Eddard Stark, do you think? Joffrey, who gave the command? Ser Ilyn Payne, who swung the sword? Or…another?” Tyrion cocked his head sideways. “Did you mean to answer your damned riddle, or only to make my head ache worse?” Varys smiled. “Here, then. Power resides where men believe it resides. No more and no less.” “So power is a mummer’s trick?” “A shadow on the wall,” Varys murmured, “yet shadows can kill. And ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow.” Tyrion smiled. “Lord Varyls, I am growing strangely fond of you. I may kill you yet, but I think I’d feel sad about it. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor #philosophical #riddles #men

I'd better go before Kitty tries to act again. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#men

Besides, when did you become an expert on men, miss hide-herself-away-in-the-study? ↗

— Sarah Jane Avory

#men

Men are so easy to manipulate, poor things. ↗

— Elizabeth Peters

#men #men

I've been a young man. Boobs are near the center of the universe, until you turn twenty-five or so. Which is also when young men's auto insurance rates go down. This is not a coincidence. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#men