#humor

Where were you born?" "On a battlefield," [Yossarian] answered. "No, no. In what state were you born?" "In a state of innocence. ↗

— Joseph Heller

#humor

One, and two, and three, four, five. Keep fighting like this and you will die," Janco sang. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#humor

He said I was unequipped to meet life because I had no sense of humor. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#humor

There's no such thing as a bad dog, just a bad owner. ↗

— John Grogan

#marley-and-me #humor

Hespe's mouth went firm. She didn't scowl exactly, but it looked like she was getting all the pieces of a scowl together in one place, just in case she needed them in a hurry. ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#literacy #relationships #humor

Sometimes, though, you have to do things for family, even if you'd rather not. ↗

— Patricia C. Wrede

#help #humor #sacrifices #family

I love hearing my relations abused. It is the only thing that makes me put up with them at all. Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#family #humor #family

He could do this. He'd survived boot camp. He'd survived combat and the harsh weather of Afghanistan. He could survive broccoli. Probably. ↗

— Shannon Stacey

#humor #sean #family

I want everyone to throw sugar and cream at each other, then lie about it. I want to attend an ice cream antisocial. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #ice-cream #funny

That sounds terrific.Just you, your comatose wife, your shell-shocked son, and your daughter who hates your guts. Not to mention your two kids might be in love with each other. Yeah, that sounds like the perfect family reunion ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#family